THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY.

Welcome to the Triangle of Life!

With all the rules, life was a freaking fairy tale… Like Trump would say… “It was a great great fairy tale!” or “It was an amazing fairy tale!”.

And I was waiting for my fairy godmother to magically appear who would help me break out of these rules… So what happened?... THE GOOD part: we kids got inspired and ended up playing together a play when ever we met (We meaning us three sisters and two brothers) and we called it “Laal Pari” (Red Fairy) – a terrible copy of Cinderella in Bollywood style. I was the Red Fairy and my two sisters were my guardian angels. One of my brothers was the Rakshasa (meaning Demon) and the last youngest one was a little boy lost boy from the Earth who accidentally made his way over to the heavens. We all had our scripts written, costumes made and gosh! You might think that at least one of our elders had picked up the camera and took some pictures of us to remember those days…. No, they did not.

So we went on playing this play for years to come and I used to unleash all my desires that could come true as a child to break these rules and get out there in the open… go far far away…. And guess what. You grow up and realize that fairy godmother is bullshit!

Now for THE BAD part, I am going to keep it short. I was abused by my uncle – so called a cousin of my father.

THE UGLY part, I was punished for it by my mother. May be she thought that a 5 or 6 year old absolutely knew the art of seducing a grown man! Wow, I acquired those skills quite young… or may be I inherited them? And how quaint of my darling mother to think of me in such a way! Jokes aside and on a serious note, I am sure there are many other girls who have undergone such horrendous phases when they were a child and trust me a girl of that age does not even know what’s happening. I am glad the man who manhandled me died, not very long from then, of a very horrible disease. I love KARMA! Then again, I had a similar but less aggressive situation while I was 17 yrs old by a friend of my uncle who tried to feel me up in a moving vehicle with people around. Of course, then even, no one believed me as this man was supposedly a well-respected professor in the Mysore University. Well-respected, my foot! The hands of these men must be chopped and Hello… family members – for heavens sake, open your eyes and please do listen to your children when something like this happens!

So, let’s continue the beautifully ugly part… I used to get a good share of my mother’s anger poured on to me for any little mistake I did. They tasted literally like the bitter little drops of hell… 😉. For those who do not know, it is said by most parents in India – “If I gave birth to you, I have the utmost right on you. So it is ok to accept beatings, horrible punishments and yelling.” Let’s see the some of these innovative ways to teach your kid a lesson: My mother’s first favourite was called “Sontigum”. You know, the thing that makes you scream your fucking lungs out and not breath at the same time?. That’s it. That was the feeling it gave. Definition of Sontigum: when someone holds the most sensitive part of the inner thigh and then, pinches and twists the skin like a dough to make naan… it induces so much fucking pain that you cannot imagine. I am sure even KGB uses it! Makes you wonder why the fuck you fucked up and then you don’t even remember what you fucked up... Her second favourite was “Pokemon” – yes, it’s definitely the opposite of what you are thinking. It’s this amazing grotesque punishment where you take a sharp safety pin and poke the tiny pointy edge in to the skin on your inner thigh… God knows why she loved the thighs so much, may be that was the part where there was more meat? Like the juicy chicken thighs. And the third favourite was “The Burning Man” – simply take a hot iron rod called Chunchuga and place the hot edge on your arms… Love the feeling of the fucking heat on my arms while it is 40˚ C outside. Or just take it and beat the shit out of you till she is satisfied…

And sometimes there was the creative "mix and match" while you are stripped naked. All-in-one at the same time! Hallelujah!!! Well, was she able to teach me whatever the hell she wanted me to learn? Let’s see…. 😉